British People Doesn't Understand How American People Work  

The English are so smart. Not only do they have those great accents, but they ask the pressing questions, like, "Does J-Lo REALLY need to sell pictures of her twins for $6 million?" Why, Goddamn, I was just going to make a joke about the cannibalistic nature of celebrity culture. But now that I think that about it, maybe J. Lo doesn't actually REALLY need those six million dollars.

British People points out that Jennifer Lopez is quite rich already, as is her husband. And yet they still want more money. I'm in disbelief.

The UK might have given us Adam Smith, but America is where capitalism flowered, and later figured out a way to sell said flowers. Even in the 18th century, we were all about the Benjamins. You know, because Benjamin Franklin was alive back then and now he's on the $100 bill.

Most Americans would sell pictures of their babies if they could. It's just that most babies look like potatoes and weren't surgically removed from a once toned stomach.

And along with being capitalists, Americans are exhibitionists. Social networking started here. A friend of mine recently gave birth to twin boys, and her baby pictures were up on Facebook on her sons' actual birthday. And by the by, these boys had the biggest baby balls I have ever seen; I've seen smaller balls on full grown men. Too bad this friend wasn't famous; that would have been a great People spread.

So of course Jennifer Lopez is selling her baby pictures for as much as she can get. Money for privacy invasion is the American dream.