Why "Nice Guys" Fail With Women  

***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***

Hi David.  I appreciate the service you provide to
us single (and I'm sure some not-so-single) men
out here.  I am preparing to download your book as
soon as I am done with this email.  About a week
ago at work, a girl that I have known for about a
year now and I were talking about things to do in
the city. She suggested that we should maybe hang
out sometime, and all I said was "I don't think
you could handle this " -- and boom -- she was
hooked! I was totally amazed first of all that I
said anything like that, and second that it really
worked!

Now my question:  I was at a bar the other night
and ran into a girl that I knew and somewhat hung
out with about 4 years ago and have not seen her
since.  She said she was single, and told me to
get my phone out because she was going to give me
her phone number.  This is a girl that I have
always (wanted), and now that I have the chance
I'm starting to get cold feet. I've set-up a lunch
for this week, but I'm not sure since we already
know each other if I should still do the cocky +
funny deal or stick with (my usual) nice guy
routine?

Thanks again!

Wussy in Wichita. (LOL)

>>>MY COMMENTS:

  Hmmmm...

  Finally, for once in your life, you try being
Cocky & Funny with a girl - and she eats it up -
and then you ask if you should do it again?

  The main question in my mind right now is:

  Should I personally slap you, or should I just
have you slap yourself?

  Here are a couple of great formulas for you to
remember:

1) Cold Feet = Cold/Dry Other Things Below The
Waist

2) The "Usual Nice Guy Routine" = See Formula
#1

  Let's talk about these ideas.

  If you ever hear a woman say the words, "He's
nice", you can pull out all the money you have on
you and bet that she's not ATTRACTED to the guy
she's talking about.

  Women don't use the word "Nice" to describe men
that they're FEELING it for.

  So, why would you want to use the "usual nice
guy routine"?  What?  You want to make SURE she
never feels anything other than friendship for
you?

  Hmmmmm.

  What you're telling me here is that you knew
this super-babe four years ago, but the "nice guy"
rap didn't make anything happen then... so you're
thinking that if you pour it on twice as thick, it
might work better this time?

  Hmmmmm.

  Here's a good rule of thumb:

  If your behavior isn't getting you the
consistent results that you'd like to get, CHANGE
IT.

  Do ANYTHING different.

  I'm serious here.

  If what you're doing isn't working, DO
SOMETHING ELSE IMMEDIATELY!

  And, if you've FOUND SOMETHING that works, then
KEEP DOING IT!

  (Hint: In case you haven't figured it out, I
think you should ix-nay the ice-nay uy-gay outine-
ray.)

  And, I don't think it's a coincidence that the
words "nice guy" translate into "ICE-NAY UY-GAY"
in Pig Latin.

  Read that again, because it was pretty funny.

  In summary, I think you might want to stick
with the cocky & funny personality. It's working
for more than a few guys out there, and it can
work for you (as you've seen).

  On a side topic...

  From the way I talk, you might start to get the
idea that I'm against being nice to women.

  Quite the contrary.

  I think that it's great to be nice to women.

  Just do it in a way that doesn't make them
think of you as a "nice guy."

  Oh, that sounds interesting.

  So, the question is: How can I be nice without
making her see me as a super-wussy who would pay a
hundred dollars just to have one quick dig through
her dresser?

  I just figured out how to say this in a simple,
concise way... so listen up:

  BE COCKY & FUNNY, AND BUST HER BALLS WITH YOUR
WORDS, BUT BE NICE TO HER WITH YOUR BEHAVIOR.

  Wow, that was cool. Nice and simple.

  So, here are a few examples:

1) Tell her that she walks slower than your mom,
then open all doors for her.

2) Tell her that she's too uptight and she needs
to settle down because it's annoying, then rub her
shoulders.

3) Give her a hard time about her driving, then
kiss her.

  Are you with me?

  One of the concepts that I talk about in my
book, "Double Your Dating", is ALWAYS SEND MIXED
MESSAGES.

  Why would you want to send mixed messages?

  Because it's interesting.

  Because if it's done right, it's attractive.

  Because attractive women are fascinated by it
when it's mixed with a cocky & funny personality.

  I hope that those reasons work for you.

  Attractive women are sooooo over guys who kiss
up to them, buy them things, take them out, and
act "nice".

  Attractive women are looking for something
different.

  A challenge. A spark. Sassy, cheeky, mouthy,
ballsy, witty, charming. An unpredictable, funny
guy like yourself to take her attention, and run
with it.

  Now, how unpredictable is "nice"? How much of a
challenge is "nice"? How much of a spark is in
"nice"?

  Exactly. Not much.

  So, in summary: Be nice... but do it on your
own terms. And mix nice BEHAVIOR with COCKY &
FUNNY COMMUNICATION.

  This magical combination will keep her interest
for as long as you'd like to have it.

  Remember, attractive women are different. They
know that they can have anything they want. SO
DON'T GIVE IT TO THEM... and they'll love you.

  Does this sound "counterintuitive" to you?

  Good. It is. And it works like gangbusters.

  Remember this:

 You need to understand how ATTRACTION works for
women and you need to do those things that keep
the ATTRACTION BUILDING FOREVER.

  Now, where does this all begin?

  It begins with YOU.

  And, it begins with you learning how to control
yourself and your emotions. It begins with you
needing to understand the history of how and why
men and women become attracted to each other. It
begins with you learning the basics of how to use
subtle body language and communication to make
women feel ATTRACTION for you.

  I really believe that there's more than meets
the eye when it comes to success with women and
dating.

  The process that creates the magic emotion of
ATTRACTION is mysterious, seemingly illogical, and
"counterintuitive". If you don't understand it,
then it just won't make sense.

  It's taken me literally YEARS to be able to
both attract women AND be able to EXPLAIN how to
do it.

  My newest book, "Attraction Isn't A Choice", is
the most detailed, in-depth explanation of
attraction available ANYWHERE... and it will take
you "behind the scenes" of the female "attraction
mechanism" and teach you how to create attraction
using only your personality and communication...
no money or gifts required.

 
  And, if you find it hard to imagine yourself
being able to attract a woman using just your
COMMUNICATION... and you would like to learn the
MAGIC skill of using my favorite technique I call
"Cocky & Funny", then you need to go and check out
my Cocky Comedy CD/DVD program.

  You'll get a TON of ideas just by watching the
sample video clips on the website, so go check it
out... watch the preview clips, and read all about
it here:

  Go check them out.

  And I'll talk to you again soon.

     Your Friend,

     David D.